Disintegration has become an ally. My initial skirmishes with its power left me devastated. Now, as I familiarize myself with the topography of the boneyard, something deep inside of me settles. I’m not panicking anymore, quite the opposite, I feel sharpened like a keen blade. The observer stays in his seat, watching emotional weather fronts roll in, wreak havoc and then leave. There seems to be an intelligence to it all, it’s a fierce teacher but I trust it, implicitly. I let my heart ache, my tears roll, even as pieces of me burn and fade away, there is renewal. Small shoots appearing everywhere. I can feel the inside of others now with an acuity that is exquisitely balanced, I drop deep beneath my fatigue into the collective. I have never felt more part of the whole, yet been so alone.