Reader Submission: SimplicityPsychotherapy September 29, 2013 - 12:56 pm No Comment
1. Opposites Attract
After having the privilege of working with Jamie this year I have become increasingly aware of the value of simplicity. In the murky dark world of personal and relationship therapy, I have found much strength and solace in the opposite of complex relationships and resolution possibilities. A womb of refuge and sanity, allowing moments of clarity and hope. Simplicity.
Against the chattering of all my “inner advisors”, I have decided to write this for two reasons;
– In respect ,recognition and support of Jamie, who has selflessly gone ” above and beyond” for many of us.
– And secondly someone who has achieved what few have previously done, doggedly prodding me on to acts of uncomfortable courage and understanding the strange truth and value of “never not broken”.
The picture chosen as an invitation to participate in ” The Emperor’s New Clothes ” in my mind is inspiration sufficient.
Simplicity is the state or quality of being simple. It usually relates to the burden which a thing puts on someone trying to explain or understand it. Something which is easy to understand or explain is simple, in contrast to something complicated. Alternatively, as Herbert A. Simon suggested, something is simple or complex depending on the way we choose to describe it. In the context of human lifestyle, simplicity can denote freedom from hardship, effort or confusion.
Definitions of complexity often depend on the concept of a “system”, a set of parts or elements that have relationships among them differentiated from relationships with other elements outside the relational regime. Many definitions tend to postulate or assume that complexity expresses a condition of numerous elements in a system and numerous forms of relationships among the elements. However, what one sees as complex and what one sees as simple is relative and changes with time
Nothing could be truer in the context of the work that I have covered with Jamie concerning my marriage. I often find myself during the day or lying awake at night with my head spinning, fuzzy and coated in a thick fog of complexity, re-living the days events. Couple therapy, individual therapy, what is right and what is wrong , what is the truth, and what do I really want ? . Struggling to understand and make sense of all this complexity.
And then I force myself to journey deep inside myself, taking time to try over and over again, as I still my racing mind, to discipline the many dissenting inner voices. Slowly and painfully I gradually arrive at an inner sanctuary where I can listen to the quiet inner voice of “self” and “truth”, and things start to become simple and clearer again. I breathe.
I have resolved a fierce inner debate on whether to write this blog or not. The tipping point came when I read Jamie’s post about ” Never Not Broken” and the more personal piece of “learning To Love with everything I have”. Life and healing requires courage, personal courage.
In keeping with the offering of simplicity I wanted to balance serious reflection with two small things that have inspired me. I hope they do the same in some strange way for one or more of you out there.
William Blake – ” To See A World ”
To see a World in a Grain of Sand
And a Heaven in a Wild Flower,
Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand
And Eternity in an hour.
Hannes Coetzee – Teaspoon Slide
Definition of Ditty
“A short simple song”
With Apologies to Thelma and Louise….
Love, Courage and Simplicity