The author can be found rummaging through life looking for nourishment in the early hours of the morning. He is slowly going sane by using his actual life and relationships to wake up.He lives in Cape Town with his teenaged daughter, two bassett hounds named Thelma and Louise and Digit... the cat. He hugs trees, has experienced numerous dark nights of the soul, collects incorrect Chinese packaging and tracks curious things to their lair.
Twelve reasons your life isn’t as crap as you think it is.News, Psychotherapy July 5, 2015 - 5:07 pm No Comment
1: You paid the bills this month, and maybe even had extra to spend on non-necessities. It doesn’t matter how much you winced as the debit orders went off, the point is that they did, and you figured it out regardless
2: You question yourself. You doubt your life. You feel miserable some days. This means you’re still open to growth. This means you can be objective and self-aware. The best people go home at the end of the day and think: “or… maybe there’s another way.”
3: You have a job. For however many hours, at whatever rate, you are earning money that helps you eat something, sleep on something, wear something every day. It’s not failure if it doesn’t look the way you thought it would – you’re valuing your independence and taking responsibility for yourself.
4: You have time to do something you enjoy. Even if “what you enjoy” is sitting on the couch and ordering dinner and watching Game of Thrones.
5: You are not worried about where your next meal is coming from. There’s food in the fridge or pantry, and you have enough to actually pick and choose what you want to eat. You can eat because you enjoy it. It’s not a matter of sheer survival.
6: You have one or two truly close friends. People worry about the quantity but eventually tend to realize the number of people you can claim to be in your tribe has no bearing on how much you feel intimacy, acceptance, community, or joy. At the end of the day, all we really want are a few close people who know us (and love us) no matter what.
7: You could afford a cup of coffee, or the petrol in your car this morning. The smallest conveniences (and oftentimes, necessities) are not variables for you.
8: You’re not the same person you were a year ago. You’re learning, and evolving, and can identify the ways in which you’ve changed for better and worse.
9: You have the time and means to do things beyond the bare minimum. You’ve maybe been to a concert in the last few years, you buy books for yourself, you could take a day trip to a neighboring city if you wanted – you don’t have to work all hours of the day to stay alive.
10: You can sense what isn’t right in your life. The first and most crucial step is simply being aware. Being able to communicate to yourself: “something is not right, even though I am not yet sure what would feel better.”
11: You have a space of your own. It doesn’t even have to be a home or apartment (but that’s great if it is). All you need is a room, a corner, a desk, where you can create or rest at your discretion; where you govern who gets to be part of your own world.
12: If you could talk to your younger self, you would be able so say: “We did it, we made it out, we survived that terrible thing.”
So, come now, I’m not asking you to ‘think positive’ and “be grateful”, we all know life can be shit and often is. But as humans we have the most incredible capacity to shift our perspective and sometimes, it is the smallest recalibration to our thinking that can influence a whole sequence of events. It’s a bit like changing your reality by what you are thinking…hmmm, more on that later.